The Unfinished Story Of Triggers

November 17, 2025

Belinda Morey, Author and Substance Use Disorder Counselor

Tom O'Connor, Publisher 

Let’s talk about triggers like nobody ever does in group, intake, or on some glossy treatment brochure. Most people try to make it neat: “avoid this,” “call your sponsor,” “stick to the plan.” But real-life triggers don’t give a damn about your worksheet. Sometimes they’re boring, sometimes brutal. Sometimes you see them coming, but a lot of the time, you just get sucker-punched.

You are not weak because you don’t “master” triggers. You’re not broken because, three years in, you still get ambushed in a grocery store or at a birthday party or on a perfectly random Tuesday. Triggers are sneaky. They come dressed up as memories, old friends, boredom, or some random patch of sunlight. So let’s dig deep—here’s what triggers really are, how they work, and why even naming them is hard work… but possible.

What the Hell Is a Trigger, Really?

If you’ve heard the word “trigger” so many times it feels like background noise, you’re not alone. But if you break it all the way down: a trigger is anything—seriously, anything—that flips some ancient switch in your head and makes you want that shortcut you used to rely on.

It could be the sound of a bottle cap, a memory, a smell, even a word, a color, or a song. Triggers aren’t always logical; they don’t check with your calendar or give you a heads-up. Sometimes it’s a smell at the checkout line. Sometimes it’s dead silence on a Saturday night.

And triggers are mostly about your wiring: your brain found a shortcut for pain, boredom, sadness, excitement—whatever—and stored it for quick access. Now, when life throws a fastball, your brain offers up that shortcut, even when you don’t want it.

Real-Life, Gritty Trigger Stories

You want real? Here's real. This isn't the polite, group-ready version. This is what triggers look and feel like for people across the recovery spectrum:

The Ghost in the Passenger Seat

Dave has three clean years, a new car, and a new life. But one Tuesday, he takes the same highway exit he did on his worst days, and suddenly his old cravings are riding shotgun. He smells everything: sweat, beer, old cigarettes. His head is screaming, What would happen if you just pulled off, just for a minute? He doesn't. But he almost does.

The Quiet Killer

Larissa's six months in are doing okay. Then—out of nowhere—her office sends out a potluck invite. Just that word drags her back to a thousand chaotic, “fun” nights out. The itch comes back like poison ivy—she spends the day of the event locked in at home, hating herself, not trusting herself to show up.

The Family Affair

Thanksgiving. Overbearing family. Uncle says something “joking” but cruel. Ryan’s in the bathroom, staring at a half-empty pill bottle he found in the cabinet. He wonders how he’d explain it away. He flushes it, hands shaking, and spends the rest of the night faking small talk, trying not to crawl out of his own skin.

Late Night, No Witnesses

J's staring at her phone, feeling totally alone. She scrolls through her contacts, lands on her old hookup buddy, and nearly presses "send," just for that quick hit of chaos and numbness. She wants to say no. But mostly, she wants the whole mess to disappear—herself included.

Triggers are ghosts. They come in the form of boredom, grief, old jokes, heartbreak, silence, and even happiness. People don't talk about these because they seem "silly" or embarrassing, but they're real.

Explore another article from Belinda's Vital Voyage series here.

The Truth About Triggers: A Brutally Honest Q&A

Let's axe the biggest myths, one by one:

Q: Shouldn't I be past triggers by now?

Nope. Triggers don't care about your calendar. You can be decades deep and get mugged on some random Saturday. This is not a merit badge thing.

Q: Are my triggers proof I'm broken?

Not even close. They're proof that you have a nervous system hardwired for shortcuts. That's biology, not moral failure.

Q: Can I really avoid all my triggers?

Unless you're locking yourself in a sensory deprivation tank for life, no. The goal is not to have a life without triggers—the goal is to build a life with trigger defense systems, escape routes, and "holy shit" backup plans.

Q: If I relapse, did the trigger win?

No. You just found where your walls are thinnest. You're learning, not losing. There's no scoreboard.

Q: Why don't I always see triggers coming?

Because triggers don't announce themselves, sometimes the worst ones sneak in sideways—a sudden memory, a night alone, the sound of someone's laugh. Half the work is learning to recognize new ones when they hit.

Q: If I've got boring triggers, like "Friday" or "the smell of rain," is that normal?

Completely normal. Some of the most potent triggers are the most minor, dumbest things—weekday routines, a particular brand of soap, an old hoodie. If it screws with your head, it counts.

Q: I've tried everything, and sometimes nothing works. What then?

Then you hold on. You get messy. You survive the hour however you can—sleep, shout, binge Netflix, call someone, write “help” on a sticky note. Recovery is not about never getting triggered; it’s about outlasting the worst cravings, even if it isn't pretty.

So, Why Is This So Hard?

Because triggers hit every nerve you've got—body, memory, pride, and shame all at once. They poke your ego ("Am I really still this weak?"), your despair ("does this never end?"), your hope ("Am I the only one still getting hit out of nowhere?").

But you aren't crazy for struggling. You aren't alone in feeling sideswiped, resentful, or raw. Triggers are just old wiring and muscle memory, and they don't care if you're "good" or "bad" today. Everyone in recovery (even the long-timers with decades of experience) has days where they white-knuckle it or get taken aback by something they never saw coming.

Most people never talk about it, but you don't have to play along. Welcome to the club—nobody here gets a map, but we know what the ditches feel like.

Call to Action: What’s It Like On Your Side?

I'm sick of reading glossy recovery advice that sounds nothing like real life. I bet you are too. So, let's change that.

Are your triggers different, uglier, sneakier than you ever expected? Does "normal" people's advice make you want to throw something? Have you survived a craving by doing something ridiculous, gross, inventive?

Leave a comment. Send me your story. What do your triggers look like? How do they show up? What have you done to outlast them? What's the horror story no one would believe—or the win you want to shout about? This space is for you—no shame, no gloss, just the truth—raw, ugly, funny, or triumphant.

You can contact Belinda at: progressisprogressmilormil@gmail.com

You can read Belle's articles at https://progressisprogress.substack.com/

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