Healing Through Trauma: Kelly Meany's Journey

September 4, 2025

Kelly Meany, Author & Therapist, Coach, Speaker, and Advocate

Tom O'Connor, Publisher

Author Kelly Meany is a licensed therapist, trauma survivor, and speaker who brings raw honesty, humor, and heart to every conversation. With a perfect score of 10 on the Adverse Childhood Experience (ACE) questionnaire, she has experienced her healing journey. She now helps others do the same through her private practice, talks, and powerful storytelling.

Kelly Meany's Life Story

I used to think I was broken—too sensitive, too emotional, too reactive, too much, or not enough. But the truth is, I wasn't hurt; I was grieving. And not the kind of grief that earns sympathy cards. I wasn't mourning someone who passed away; I was grieving someone who was right in front of me—my mom.

My Mom's Brain Injury

My mom was in a coma for 12 weeks when she was just 13 years old. She survived, but she never came back the same. The brain injury left her with the mental capacity of a child. She lived in an adult body, but her mind remained childlike. So from the time I was born, I wasn't her daughter—I was more like her mom. She was an adult in an adult's body, but her mind was that of a child, and I was her child caregiver.

That kind of role reversal has an impact on you. It makes you feel obligated to take care of everyone else. It makes you feel like your needs are overwhelming. It leads you to believe that love is always accompanied by guilt, responsibility, and exhaustion. I didn't grow up with a mom who made me feel safe. I grew up being the safety net. I wasn't nurtured—I nurtured. And I didn't even realize how much that shaped me until decades later when my nervous system was screaming, "Enough."

It Wasn't Just Sad—It Was Survival

People look at you and they don't see it. They see a strong, successful woman—a therapist, a business owner, a helper. But they don't see the little girl inside who never got to be little. They don't know the anxiety that doesn't go away, the way your body tenses around love, or the way you want to trust people but can't stop preparing for them to disappear. That's not just trauma; that's programming. It lives in your body long after the chaos ends. And that's why traditional talk therapy only got me so far. I needed more than insight. I needed rewiring.

Talk Therapy Wasn't Enough—For Me or My Clients

I'm a licensed therapist. I have a Bachelor's and Master's in Social Work from the University of Iowa. I've trained in every evidence-based model under the sun. And I'm grateful for all of it, but let's be real: talk therapy isn't always enough, especially for people like me. The mind can only process so much on the conscious level because our stresses and traumas are stored in our nervous system. Most of my clients come to me after years of therapy. They've tried deep breathing, meds, and affirmations. They know the "why" behind their behaviors. But they still feel stuck—trapped in cycles of anxiety, burnout, codependency, or just plain emotional numbness. That's because insight doesn't equal integration. You can understand your trauma inside and out, but if your body still feels unsafe, you'll keep repeating the same patterns. That's what nobody tells you.

Healing Is Not About Coping—It's About Rewiring

At my practice, Healing With Kelly (https://healingwithkelly.com/), I don't just help people "cope." I help them heal. I specialize in nervous system repair, assisting individuals to uncover the root cause of their feelings of being stuck, disconnected, and overwhelmed.

I provide a unique, client-centered approach that integrates Internal Family Systems (IFS), Quantum Neuro Reset Therapy, and concierge-style therapy for those who seek more than a standard therapy experience. Whether virtually or in person, I am committed to guiding you toward healing, clarity, and transformation.

I use modalities that go beyond talk therapy:

• IFS (Internal Family Systems) – We explore the younger parts of you still stuck in survival mode and learn how to lead with self-compassion.

• EMDR – We process trauma that's still sitting in your body like a landmine.

• QNRT (Quantum Neuro Reset Therapy) – A game-changing modality that helped me shift out of trauma patterns I didn't even realize were running the show.

• Coaching: In one-on-one sessions, I support clients through high-touch, 90-day transformation programs that are fully personalized, designed to help you regulate your nervous system, rewrite old narratives, and step boldly into the life you've always wanted. Whether side by side in person or across time zones virtually, this is deep, life-changing work for those ready to go all in.

  
  

These approaches changed my life. And now I use them to help others transform theirs.

Grieving the Mom I Didn't Have

One of the most complex parts of my healing journey has been mourning the mom I never truly had. She didn't abandon me by choice; her injury took away the version of her I might have had. But even if no one ever intended to hurt me, I still ended up injured. And I didn't feel like I was allowed to say that. It felt disloyal. Disrespectful. Unfair.

But it was real. I had to learn that I could love my mom and still mourn the mother I needed—the one who could have held me, protected me, poured into me. Instead, I was the one looking out for her, making sure she was okay, trying not to rock the boat. I was in emotional survival mode by the time I could talk.

I remember being nine years old, brushing her hair and helping her get dressed. I recall trying to explain to friends why she seemed different, even though I didn't fully understand it myself. I remember pretending everything was fine when I felt so alone. That kind of grief doesn't go away.

And when I finally did, when I permitted myself to stop pretending it was okay, it opened the door to a kind of healing I never thought I could access.

My Clients Are Grieving, Too

So many people I work with are grieving things they've never named:

• The dad who was physically there but emotionally unavailable

• The partner who never really saw them

• The childhood they had to grow up too fast in

• The love they gave but never got back.

  
  

They carry this grief in their nervous systems. It manifests as hyper-independence, people-pleasing, panic attacks, exhaustion, over-giving, or emotional shutdown. They don't know why they feel the way they think; they just know something isn't right.

My job isn't to "fix" them. It's to help them come home to themselves. To help them grieve what they didn't get and give themselves what they always needed.

You're Not Too Much—You're Just Carrying Too Much

One of the things I say to my clients all the time is: You're not too much. You're just carrying too much alone.

That truth changed my life. I spent so many years trying to shrink myself, quiet myself, "be good" so no one would leave. But I was never too much. I just didn't have a nervous system that felt safe. And when I started focusing on healing my nervous system instead of trying to change my personality, that's when things began to shift.

• I stopped tolerating chaos.

• I stopped explaining myself to people who didn't get it.

• I stopped betraying myself just to feel wanted.

  
  

And I started choosing peace.

This Work Is Deep. And It's Worth It.

At Healing With Kelly, we offer:

• Individual therapy for children, teens, and adults

• Trauma healing through QNRT, EMDR, and IFS

• Support for anxiety, grief, addiction, burnout, codependency, and relationship trauma

• A space where you're allowed to be messy, real, and in progress

  
  

I don't do surface-level therapy. If you're looking for coping skills and a worksheet, I'm not the right person for you. But if you're ready to go deep, if you're tired of just surviving, this work can change everything. I'm not just speaking as a therapist. I'm speaking as someone who's done it, who's still doing it, who knows what it's like to sit in that pain and come out the other side.

Final Words: You Deserve This

If no one ever told you:

• You're allowed to grieve the people who didn't show up.

• You're allowed to be angry about what happened to you.

• You're allowed to feel it all and still choose to heal.

  
  

Healing isn't about becoming someone new. It's about remembering who you were before the world told you to be small. You don't need to earn rest. You don't need to justify your pain. You don't have to wait until you're burned out or in crisis.

Your healing can start now.

And I promise you, they are so worth it!

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Kelly Meany is a licensed clinical social worker (LCSW) in NY, CT, and IA, specializing in trauma recovery, addiction, and nervous system regulation.

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