Take Your Inventory

Tim Lineaweaver, Author & Addiction & Recovery Writer

and Counselor

Tom O'Connor, Publisher

Author Tim Lineaweaver is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor (LMHC) and a Licensed Alcohol and Drug Counselor (LADC-1) in the state of Massachusetts. Tim has been helping clients of all ages with addiction, trauma, anxiety, and depression for over 20 years. He is an adjunct faculty member at Lesley University and has written and lectured widely on addiction and mental health. He has applied his clinical expertise in treating addiction across various residential, outpatient, and community-based settings. Tim has extensive experience in substance abuse and has contributed to addiction counseling through advocacy. He believes it is vital to build and maintain strong trust and advocacy with his patients while also holding them accountable on their recovery journey.

Tim is a frequent contributor to our Vital Voyage Blog and is a member of our Editorial Advisory Board.

According to Tim Lineweaver:

Take Your Inventory

I was looking forward to the evening out to dinner with friends. It had been a busy and, at times, stressful week. I had seen a lot of clients, and it was a week of crisis management: a break-up, a relapse, and an angry couple's session where everything I tried turned into bitterness and vitriol as they tore at each other and, at times, me. Thankfully, I was very much at ease with our dinner group, having known everyone a long time, but one of my friends brought along a buddy from out of town.

This guy was about a decade younger than me, medium in height and build, with an angular face and glasses. He sat next to our mutual friend and across the table from me. We all fell into easy banter as good friends do, and I felt the stress of the week ease away.

My friend's friend focused his eyes on me, and when there was a pause, he said, "I hear you're in recovery. I am, too."

"That's awesome," I replied, "Congrats."

Recovery Inventory Audience

I have always been open about my recovery, but I've learned over the years to consider whom I'm speaking with before supplying all the nitty-gritty details. Some people are just curious; others may have an agenda and want to debate the merits of drinking or have some bitterness toward people with substance use disorders. I share some details—some or a lot—once I've gotten to know people a bit.

"How many meetings do you have?" he said.

"Well, I went a ton early on; for the first few years, I went almost every day. I won't go now."

"Yeah, that's no good," he answered.

Judgement Time

Here we go, I thought—judgment time. The truth is that I owe a massive debt of gratitude to both the Alcoholics Anonymous and Narcotics Anonymous programs. It was there that I learned that recovery was possible. It was there that I was given a sober and clean community where I felt understood and appreciated. I was an active participant, completed the Steps, spoke when asked, and made an effort to help my peers. In AA, I found a sponsor who saw things in me that I couldn't see in myself. Now, I refer people to self-help resources from my practice, knowing that they are likely to find the help they need there.

My friend's friend leaned forward in his chair, fixed me with his eyes, and said forcefully, "You're going to drink again. You're not working on your program. It's only a matter of time."

The stress of the previous week surged back on a wave of irritation. I sighed, gave him a kind of pinched smile, excused myself, and headed for the friendlier end of the table. I'd heard this type of rap before, the gist of which is judgment about the quality of one's recovery solely based on the number of meetings one attends. What I should have said is something I was told by an AA old-timer years ago: "Take your inventory!" In other words, keep the focus on yourself and your recovery; let others focus on their recovery. If someone asks for your opinion, then give it if that's what you want to do. Otherwise, "live and let live."

I could have told him I hadn't been to a meeting in 30 years and had been sober and clean the entire time. Did my thirty-five years (then, over 40 now) get eclipsed by his ten? This was someone who didn't know me at all, yet felt qualified to judge something integral to my life and happiness. I am in recovery to my core, and it means everything to me. If I needed a meeting, I would be happy to attend. To be clear, I am not opposed to meetings, far from it. AA, NA, Refuge Recovery, and SMART Recovery all help people recover.

There is too much judgment and self-aggrandizement in our world today. We globalize our experience because it works for us, but does that mean it will work for everybody else? You see it in politics, religion, and many other areas. We often tell others how to live without showing compassion, understanding, or knowledge of the person we're speaking with.

How can one know what someone they hardly know needs? This type of recovery judgment can deter people from attending meetings and divert their attention from what they should focus on: their recovery. 

Vital Steps Towards Recovery

If you've made the courageous step towards recovery, regardless of the method, keep going! Your commitment to your journey is what matters most. 

Let's foster an environment of mutual respect and understanding in recovery. What works for you may not work for others, and that's okay. The key is to stay focused on your own journey and respect others' paths.

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Tim Lineaweaver can be reached at his website: https://www.timlineaweaver.com/ 

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