What I Wish Everyone Knew About Suicide

Content Warning:  This article discusses suicide, suicidal thoughts, and mental health struggles. If you or someone you know is struggling, please reach out—help is available. You can call or text the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline at 988 (US).

September 22, 2025

Dr. Ashley J. Smith, PhD, Author

Reviewed by Belinda Morey, Subject Matter Expert

Author Dr. Ashley Smith is a licensed psychologist, professional speaker, author, and co-founder of Peak Mind: The Center for Psychological Strength. Since earning her PhD in 2007, she has become a sought-after expert in treating anxiety disorders and a vocal advocate committed to changing how we approach mental health and wellbeing. Dr. Ashley is the author of The Way I See It: A Psychologist's Guide to a Happier Life, and she publishes a monthly newsletter filled with actionable insights on psychology, resilience, and happiness. She is an engaging speaker, providing audiences—from small startups to Fortune 5 companies—with practical strategies for overcoming challenges and reaching their full potential. Dr. Ashley is also open about living—and learning to thrive—with a rare visual impairment. Her combined professional expertise and personal experience give her a unique ability to educate and inspire. She is passionate about using psychology and applied neuroscience to help others live bold, happy lives while performing at their best.

According to Dr. Ashley Smith:

Suicide isn't an easy topic. Yet, we can't afford to shy away from it. The reach of suicide is staggering, and its impact is tragic and often avoidable. In the U.S.:

• Someone dies by suicide every 11 minutes.

• It is the 2nd leading cause of death for youth and in the top 10 for adults.

• The rates are increasing.

• More people die by suicide than in car accidents.

• 1 in 5 teens has serious suicidal thoughts.

• For every person who dies by suicide, more than 300 have contemplated it.

The Path to Suicide

The stereotype of suicide risk is someone who has been depressed for a long time and eventually gives up on life. While that is the case for some people, I increasingly see a different picture.

Rather than a slow decline, sometimes people seem fine—no desire to die—until a triggering event happens. All of a sudden, it feels like too much, and they become suicidal, like a switch being flipped. This path to suicide is particularly concerning because it can happen incredibly quickly (sometimes within minutes) and without warning.

Why We Have Suicidal Thoughts

To understand how someone can become suicidal, you have to know a bit about how our minds work. They are designed to be problem-solvers… and they're great at it! When we encounter a problem or something we don't like, our minds get busy finding solutions.

This problem-solving is helpful when we lose our keys or need to juggle busy schedules. It isn't so helpful when the problem is us or our feelings.

When the problem is how we feel, our minds may offer suicide as a solution. It's like they're saying, "You feel bad! I know how to make that stop. You won't hurt anymore if you're not here."

If the problem is that too many things have piled up at once, it can feel overwhelming and like there's no way we can handle it. Again, our minds say, "The only way out is suicide."

Sometimes, we think we're the problem. We might believe we're a burden to others or that they'd be better off without us. Solution? Don't be here anymore.

In all these situations, our mind is trying to help us solve a problem, but there are two significant issues.

First, our thinking can be skewed. Our thoughts become distorted and negative when we feel depressed, anxious, ashamed, guilty, or angry. Especially in those states, we cannot trust our thoughts. They are not always accurate or helpful.

Second, intense negative emotions like sadness, hopelessness, and anxiety shut down creativity, making it hard for our brains to come up with lots of ideas. They get locked onto suicide and trick us into thinking it is the only available option.

Suicidal thoughts are just a mind's misguided attempt to fix a problem. We do not have to listen to them, and we most certainly do not have to act on them.

What to Do If You Feel Suicidal

If you are experiencing suicidal thoughts, hold on to hope. Other solutions and people care.

In the moment:

• Remind yourself: these thoughts are your mind trying to help you solve a problem, but they're not being helpful right now.

• Try to come up with five other possible solutions that do not involve hurting yourself.

• Remind yourself that you will get through this and that you are not alone.

• Call or text 988. There is always someone there to help you get through the challenging moments.

• Contact your therapist or doctor (if you have one).

• Reach out to someone who cares about you, even if your mind tells you that no one cares. Remember that minds can lie, especially when we're upset. Is there anyone who has ever expressed care or concern for you?

• Make a list of reasons to live. Include every single thing you can think of on that list, no matter how small it seems.

• Go to the nearest emergency room if these options aren't helping.

  
  

For longer-lasting solutions:

• Schedule a therapy session. ADAA has a list of therapists who can help.

• Talk to your doctor about possible medication.

• Come up with a plan to address the problems that are weighing on you.

• Develop a safety plan that outlines actions you can take to stay safe and cope with overwhelming feelings.

If you or someone you know is in crisis, please call or text 988, or go to the nearest emergency room. You are not alone.

How to Help Someone Who Is Struggling

If someone reaches out to you or you suspect they may be experiencing suicidal thoughts, it can be hard to know how to help. The number one thing you can do is just to be there. Ask questions, without judging, about what is going on.

In the hard moment:

• Listen. Offer encouragement: "This is hard, but you will get through it."

• Ask them to go on a walk with you (or suggest another activity to get them out of their current environment and keep them from being alone).

• Help them with any of the actions above.

After the crisis:

• Check in. Ask how they are doing. Tell them you are glad they are alive and that they reached out.

• Ask them about their safety plan for next time, and whether reaching out to you is an option.

• Ask about treatment. Are they getting ongoing help and support? Can you help make that happen (for example, by assisting them to find a therapist)?

Suicidal thoughts can be scary and overwhelming, but there is hope—and there is help.

If you or someone you know is struggling, you are not alone. Call or text 988 any time for support. Share this article with someone who may need it.                                              

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Dr. Ashley Smith can be reached at https://www.drashleysmith.com/