Getting Things In The Right Order To Build Healthy Habits

Running for Healing Blog

by Matthew Campbell, PhD

I was thirteen years old and motivated. I'd just watched Rocky Balboa train in Siberia and defeat the steroid-fueled Ivan Drago. I convinced my parents to buy me a set of weights, and I was sure I was about to become a muscle man.

I even worked out a few times.

Then I stopped because, well, I didn't feel like it anymore. Even listening to "Eye of the Tiger" on repeat wasn't enough to keep me going.

I'd fallen into one of the most common traps in behavior change, one I still help people work through today: believing we have to feel like doing something before we'll do it.

Feeling motivated is great, but motivation is rarely dependable. It's temporary. Think about New Year's resolutions. Around 80% have already failed by February. The excitement wears off, everyday life returns, and people wait for motivation to come back.

It usually doesn't.

The reality is that our behaviors shape our feelings far more consistently than our feelings shape our behaviors. If we wait until we feel like exercising, eating well, or getting to bed on time, we'll spend a lot of time waiting.

The good news is that we already do things we don't feel like doing every day.

You probably don't feel like getting out of bed early for work. You may not feel like mowing the yard in the summer heat or walking the dog on a cold, rainy morning. Yet you do those things because you've already decided they're part of your responsibilities. You don't stop each morning and ask yourself whether you're in the mood.

Healthy habits work the same way.

This becomes even more important when emotions are involved. Anxiety pushes people to avoid uncomfortable situations. Depression tells people to stay home, withdraw from others, and do less. Following those feelings may provide temporary relief, but over time, they usually make the problem worse.

Many people wait for their feelings to change before they begin making healthier choices. Unfortunately, that's usually the wrong order.

The healthier behaviors often come first before becoming a healthy habit.

That doesn't mean making drastic changes overnight. In fact, that's another mistake people commonly make. They start with an exercise routine that's too demanding, a diet that's too restrictive, or goals that simply aren't sustainable.

Instead, start small.

Decide what you're going to do before the moment arrives. Plan the walk. Buy the healthier groceries. Set a bedtime. Remove as many decisions as possible once it's time to act.

Then do it whether you feel like it or not.

Over time, something interesting happens. Energy improves. Confidence grows. The healthy behavior begins to feel more natural. The motivation people were waiting for often shows up after they've already started.

Getting healthier isn't usually about finding the right feeling.

It's about putting behaviors first and letting feelings catch up.

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Matt Campbell, PhD, is a licensed psychologist with more than 20 years of clinical experience helping individuals improve their mental health and quality of life. He is the author of Our Primal 5, a practical workbook focused on the foundational habits that support emotional and physical well-being. Learn more about the workbook and find additional resources at www.ourprimal5.com. Matt can be reached at (662) 513-9936.