Building Resilience Through Running

April 3, 2026

Tom O'Connor, Author

Definitions of Resilience

Resilience is a concept often defined by prominent dictionaries and psychological experts. According to Merriam-Webster, resilience means the ability to recover from or adapt easily to misfortune or change. This highlights the capacity to bounce back from tough situations and adjust effectively to new circumstances.

The APA Dictionary of Psychology expands on resilience by describing it as both a process and an outcome. It involves successfully adapting to challenging life experiences. This adaptation happens through mental, emotional, and behavioral flexibility, allowing individuals to adjust to both external and internal demands. The focus here is on the dynamic aspect of resilience, emphasizing the importance of flexibility and adjustment in overcoming life's obstacles.

Early Beginnings

I started running as a kid, and as I approach my seventies, it's still a vital part of my life. My first experiences with running were shaped by the struggles I faced growing up. Coming from a dysfunctional household, I often felt unloved and unsafe. In those early years, running became a way to escape the tough realities of my environment. What initially brought me comfort gradually became a lifelong passion that continues to support me today.

A Difficult Decision

At twelve, I made the painful choice to run away from home. This wasn't impulsive; it was the result of persistent nightly turmoil. My mother often woke me by shouting at my father, who would come home drunk. The constant yelling and chaos created an atmosphere filled with fear and instability. Ultimately, these circumstances pushed me to seek safety elsewhere.

Facing Family Challenges

Throughout my childhood, I encountered many obstacles that could have easily overwhelmed me. Instead of letting these difficulties defeat me, I found the strength to persevere and grow even stronger. My family history included struggles with alcoholism. My paternal grandfather was an alcoholic, and both of his sons—my father and my uncle—also faced similar issues. This family legacy created a tough environment as I grew up, but it motivated me to rise above the circumstances and build resilience.

Striving for Education

Besides these family challenges, my parents were not supportive of my desire to attend college. Coming from a background that was initially close to poverty, they worried about financial stability. They preferred I follow in my father's footsteps as a sheet-metal worker by joining the military after high school. Despite their opposition, I was determined to pursue higher education and forge my own path.

My Father's Journey

My father, like his own father before him, left school after sixth grade to start working on a farm. His early life involved hard work and the expectation to support his family. When World War II began, he was drafted into the military and served overseas for four years, fighting in Africa and Europe. 

During his military service, his family's farmland was sold, so when he returned after the war, there was no family business left for him. Coming home, my father spent his first year living at his parents' house, unable to find work. The trauma and intense experiences from the war stayed with him, and he turned to heavy drinking to cope with his memories and pain. He eventually found a job in his hometown as a sheet-metal worker for a local contractor, a job he kept until he retired. Even then, he continued drinking heavily, still dealing with the lasting effects of his wartime experiences.

Facing My Own Crossroads

Life often presents us with challenges we cannot anticipate or control. What we can control, however, is how we choose to respond to those challenges. When it came time for me to think about my future after high school, my parents made it clear that they had no money to help me attend college. I found myself at a pivotal moment, facing a major decision: I could either wait to be drafted into the Army and sent to fight in the Vietnam War, or I could make the proactive choice to enlist in one of the branches of the military—Army, Navy, Marine Corps, or Air Force—on my own terms.

Finding Hope in High School Athletics

During my high school years, participating in running gave me a sense of hope. I refused to give up, choosing to follow my parents' wishes by preparing for a future in the military. After my discharge, I planned to work with my father as a sheet-metal worker's helper. Throughout this period, I dedicated myself to training rigorously, striving for excellence in both cross-country and the 880-yard race on the track. This experience taught me that resilience is an essential trait for runners, as victories do not happen in every race.

The Importance of Resilience in Running

For runners, resilience is the ability to bounce back quickly from setbacks such as injuries, bad weather, or disappointing performances. Since obstacles are unavoidable, resilience becomes essential for ongoing success and enjoyment in the sport.

Achieving Success Through Perseverance

Through consistent effort, determination, and a refusal to give up in the face of challenges, I earned a full athletic scholarship. This achievement meant I could finish college without placing any financial burden on my parents. My journey with running taught me invaluable lessons about resilience, the importance of fighting for what truly matters, and the importance of striving for a joyful life rather than settling for less. Running became a way to prove to myself that I was capable of overcoming any adversity life presented.

The Holistic Benefits of Running

Running has been a transformative practice for me. It acts as a moving meditation, clearing my mind and strengthening my body. The emotional benefits include boosting endorphins and reducing stress, while physically, running builds discipline and fitness. Spiritually, it nurtures inner joy and helps me feel more connected to nature or a higher power, contributing to a greater sense of overall well-being.

Looking Ahead

After my collegiate running career, my next goal was to become an entrepreneur and carve out my own path. Despite chasing new dreams, running remains a vital part of my life, and I plan to keep running as long as I am physically able.

Entrepreneurship and Resilience

Entrepreneurship is challenging; giving up your dreams is even harder. Running taught me not to abandon my college ambitions, regardless of how difficult it became to overcome the obstacles my parents placed in my way.

After college, I worked as a survey analyst for a management consulting firm that focused on the small-business market in New York, New Jersey, and Connecticut. I gained analytical business management skills at this company. Most importantly, through observation, I learned what they excelled at and what challenges they faced.

When the time was right, I launched my own business strategy consulting firm within a defined market. I expanded it nationally over 37 years before one of my sons took over the leadership.

Entrepreneurial resilience is the ability to navigate, adapt to, and persist through high-stress challenges such as funding gaps and market instability to achieve long-term goals. It involves maintaining a growth mindset, leveraging a strong support network, and reframing failures as opportunities to learn.

My path to healing and resilience is running. What is your path to resilience and healing?

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Tom O'Connor is the author of two books: Outrunning the Past and Discover Your Adult Child. He is also the editor and publisher of Vital Voyage Blog, a website for clinicians and those seeking information and help with substance use, trauma, adult child syndrome, and suicide prevention. Tom can be reached at discoveryouradultchild@gmail.com

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